What About Wednesday: Breast Cancer
[[Once a week I ask the same bleary-eyed question: “What about Wednesday?” It’s my day to post whatever the hell I feel like, with no regard to fashion, eco-consciousness or, occasionally, even coherent thoughts.]]
October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, and everyone is talking about prevention, buying pink-packaged groceries (most of which don’t actually donate funds to breast cancer research) and generally acting supportive of a cure. “Spread the message.” “Early detection.” “Be aware of the risks.”
…but hell, who isn’t already aware of breast cancer? I know that I am: my mom was diagnosed with Invasive Lobular Carcinoma in October of 2006, and was subsequently cut up (she had a bilateral mastectomy – both breasts removed) the next month. Since then, she’s gone through radiation, reconstruction, surgeries to fix the reconstruction, and more draining tubes and drugs than anyone in my family expected to ever learn about. The doctors are lucky we’re not squeamish.
[Image from BC Cancer Agency]
I didn’t realize how horrible breast cancer really is, and honestly, you probably don’t realize it either. It’s easy to be aware of things without actually knowing about them. But we’re all adults, here. We don’t need kid gloves. We can handle the hard truths. Right?
Right.
Truth #1: You’re probably not really helping.
[Image via Cafepress.com]
The fight against breast cancer doesn’t need your pink M&Ms and your ribbons. It needs your funding. There are multiple charities out there that you can give to – Susan G. Komen isn’t the only one – and you can even read up on their financial health and funding percentages at Charity Navigator. Buyer Donator beware: even nonprofits can be misleading about how they utilize donations!
And those M&Ms? Mars, Inc. donates up to fifty cents for every bag of pink and white M&Ms that are bought. You read that right: up to fifty cents. Wouldn’t the cost of that bag of candy be better spent directly to the foundation of your choice – and wouldn’t you rather know exactly how much you’re donating?
[Editor's note: Just take a look at those automatically-generated Google ads on the right side of this post. I'll bet that, at any time this post is visible during the month of October, there will be at least one pink "support breast cancer awareness by buying this item" ad. But where does that money go? What does it support? The answer is that you don't know.]
Truth #2: It’s not just her boobs.
When a woman has a mastectomy, the surgeons don’t just remove the flesh of the breast. They scoop out the flesh, including the chest wall and nipple, so the post-op patient has a “scoop” where her breast used to be. She’s not just flat-chested, and she doesn’t look like a boy. She literally has a part of her body scooped out of her, leaving nothing but a thick scar where a symbol of her femininity used to be. I don’t care how un-endowed you are: that fucking sucks.
Truth #3: Depression. Sexuality. Reality.
[Image from TopNews.IN]
Cancer is forever: you’re stuck getting tested and retested, hoping for lifelong remission, and wondering if you’ll ever have to face the knife, the chemo and the hormone therapy all over again. With breast cancer, though, it’s even more than that.
Women who have mastectomies lose their nipples, and all sexual sensation in the breast. No, they don’t leave the nipple attached – more cancer! – and they remove all of that sexy, baby-food-making flesh, leaving no trace of your perky nipples or your heaving bosom. Nothing. It’s gone.
Add to that the deformity they’ve left behind. Mastectomy patients can spend years trying to heal the mass of scar tissue that’s replaced their breat(s), only to have their reconstruction surgery take twice as long to heal, or worse yet, find out their chest has rejected their new, feelingless breast(s), and go through it all over again.
Put it all together (with a side of men’s reactions to a breast without nipples, or with football-shaped scars, or without any sexual feeling) and you’ve got a recipe for depression and self-loathing. And if you’re a guy, you’ve got problems of your own: questions of manhood, surgeries to repair emaciated or damaged pectoral muscles, and again, all of that healing time.
…But you can totally make a difference. No, really!
What a depressing post, right? You can help change the tide, though, and in fact, you already have. You’re reading this post, and learning about the reality of breast cancer. It affects people personally, and it affects them for life. Here are ways you can make a difference…and help others get out of the “pink ribbon” habit and into a more focused awareness.
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Donate. Go to Charity Navigator and choose a site that you think will spend your dollars wisely.
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Volunteer. The National Breast Cancer Foundation has a sign-up page for volunteers – they’ll hook you up with ways to help in your area.
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Tell others. When people blindly donate funds to causes they don’t understand (or worse yet, just wear pink ribbons) they’re only pandering to corporate marketing. Get them out of that crap and into something that really helps cancer survivors, past, present and future.
This website is all about knowing what you’re spending your money on, and this month is no different. Spend some money – or spend some time – fighting breast cancer. Let’s support those that suffer from it, raise money for new technology to treat it, and hopefully, someday, find a way to cure it.
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[...] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Jen. Jen said: What About Wednesday: More Than Aware: Breast Cancer http://bit.ly/yEM0P [...]
this is what people really need to know about breast cancer.
pink ribbons are pretty, but no BS knowledge is the real power and change.
xoxo.
kt´s last blog ..Not your grandma’s china set
Well Done!
This issue hits home to me in more than one way.
Breast Cancer is a huge fear in my family. It is hereditary on my mother’s side. I wish there was more than Breast Cancer Awareness, to where your money for that stuffed bear is going to a fund for BCA, not prevention and not a cure. Awareness.
Unfortunately, my grandma was not one of the survivors. She passed away when I was six. It is still something that hurts me today. You don’t know what cancer is until you’ve cleaned up the black vomit the radiation helped cause. Until you see your grandpa just now having all these side effects from the throat cancer radiation treatments he had 20 years ago. How his intestines and stomach have scartissue lining them from the proceedure.
What hurt me the most in recent times is that my boyfriend’s cousin’s wife (whom my bf is very close with) was diagnosed with Breast Cancer and had a masectomy. She is barely over 30-years-old. She will be having reconstructive surgery, and probably will have some sort of ‘nipple’ tattooed on, but talking to her about this tore me apart.
Thank you for bringing this up, and the best of luck to your mom. I hope she continues to do well.
*weird wording: no more awarness. More prevention/cure.
OH thank you for being the one to say something, and to say it so articulately. I cannot agree more.
Something that peeves me off: we have a pretty good idea that having a good diet can help prevent cancer*… so where the hell do companies like Mars and Cadbury get off selling their unhealthy, refined-sugar-laden candy with the marketing pretense that the buyer (eater) is doing something GOOD for the greater health of all? BOOOO!
- Tegan
* I’m saying diet CAN be a factor, and having a healthy diet can sometimes *help* with prevention, not implying we can all avoid it by putting down the Snickers. Sadly, no matter what you do, cancer is unavoidable for some.
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