Any ladies or gents out there still searching for summer love?  Look no further.  I’ve found the best personals site on the web: Squid Bully Squid.

Don’t let the name fool you.  These squids sound tough, but upon further research, it appears that they have a softer side…and I’m not just talking about their crocheted exteriors.

This is Johnny, the metrosexual squid.  Being the rebellious type, Johnny can often be found tooling around on his motorcycle, pink tentacles billowing in the breeze, lookin’ for action.  He also enjoys gardening, horse races and researching UFO sightings.  His medium build – six inches with twenty-inch tentacles – makes him the perfect planting companion when you’re ready to start your fall crops.

This is Bethany – Bets for short.  Bets knows she’s a little codependent – those magnetic button tentacles let her hug you with serious force – but she makes up for it with her famous tart cherry pie.  (She bakes it from scratch!)  She’s an open-minded squid that loves the ocean; her dream is to find a lifelong sailing partner to ride out both the calmest seas and the scariest storms.

Tanning is hard when you’re a big blue squid.  Samuel is dedicated, though, so unless you’re into laying on the beach (or the front porch, or the back of a pickup) and catching some rays, he’s not the squid for you.  All he knows is he’s got to get out of Seattle.  He’ll never get a tan with all these clouds…

Love is blind, and no one knows that better than Mortimer.  But don’t let his faltering eyesight fool you: Morty can sense a good catch a mile away.  He’s the best fisherman on the west coast, and would love to get his tentacles on a trip to Alaska to try his hand on the big boats.

***This just in!  Squid Bully Squid is offering $5 off any purchase of $20 or more at her store!  Just mention “Awakened Aesthetic” at checkout and she’ll update your bill. (Aww, love comes even cheaper than we thought.)

I’m a big nerd, but these squids really are fantastic.  I own one myself – he’s the bouncer at my lounge.*  Check out Squid Bully Squid to see more, including Giant Squids and Squidlets.

*a.k.a my sunroom, which is being converted into a prohibition-era lounge and bar.  It’s not done, and no, you can’t see it.  So there.

Tags: crochet, dating, handmade, sea creatures, seattle, squid, toys